Ok.....

So this is going to be a bit of an honest post that I just need to write. It has obviously been quite a while since we started this book club and after an initial excitement I have failed to get involved. Since I am out of school and only have work to occupy my days, my only excuse is a sinful laziness that I have been drowning in since summer started. I don’t know if it is the lack of structure that I am used to during the school year or the depression that sometimes seems to knock me down, but I have failed to read, study, pray, worship, and fellowship for what seems to be an eternity. I read the first chapter about 3 or more weeks ago but could never sit down and put any words to the page. Partly because I just didn’t feel like thinking, and partly because I didn’t feel like what I had to say about it would be anything of great worth. I reread the first chapter a few days ago and realized how different I felt reading it the second time. Not that I learned anything new, but what I read resonated with me in a different way. The first chapter introduces the thesis of the book, which is that evangelicalism stands or falls with Calvinism. I feel like for our society this is a provocative statement. I remember the first experience I had reading about Calvinism and how it almost made me angry. I realize know it was picking a fight with heart, which was full of pride. And this is why I feel like I need the doctrines of grace or Calvinism because it is where my pride stands or falls. Letting my pride run rampant is a continuous struggle and this doctrine stops it in its tracks. ^“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast”. I know this is nothing new, but is such a good reminder for me, even today when writing this post. It also gives me a sense of hope because if I do not believe that “all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together” I might fall apart on the days my thirsty soul pants for water and comes up dry. So today I am praising God for opening my heart, mind, and spirit to these doctrines that bring me to greater worship and love for my Him, and a peace that surpasses any understanding I could possibly have. I’m also praying for a spirit led renewal in my heart for the things of Christ that I so love and long for. I am excited to get back to reading this book and discussing it with y’all!

<3 Natalie